Thursday, November 13, 2008
Is it really being nice?
Is it really being nice? Is it really being fair?
Have you ever agreed to do something that you really didn’t want to do just for the sake of being nice? Sure you have. We all have. Yes, I really didn’t want to drive all the way to my parent’s house that is half an hour away in my gas guzzler of an SUV, just to drop something off and turn right back around for another half hour drive. But I did it anyway with a smile on my face and positive attitude.
But, when it comes to matters of the heart, are you really sparing someone’s feelings or leading them on? Are you really doing the right thing, or are you really just trying to pretend that you had good intentions?
I have this friend. Really, this isn’t my situation, I promise. I have this friend that likes another acquaintance of ours. This friend has had this little crush on this acquaintance for a few months now. I know, and the acquaintance claims to not be interested in this friend at all. Acquaintance is actually interested in another person and is actively pursuing another relationship. BUT, my friend still asked this acquaintance out for coffee and still seems to be uber hopeful that acquaintance reciprocates more than friends feelings. I know that this acquaintance agreed to the coffee date only because acquaintance didn’t want to hurt my friend’s feelings.
I don’t agree with this. I think if someone knows that another person is romantically interested in them, that they should do everything they can to make it apparent from the beginning that they don’t feel the same about them. Be clear. Be honest. Say, yes, as friends. Or simply say no. Don’t be obscure about what your intentions are when you they are opposite of another’s. This is how people get hurt.
Not everyone is going to feel the same about one another. It is the honesty that will make things real and save everyone a lot of confusion, drama, and heartache. I have never been one to create or avoid confrontation, but life does have its ups and downs. Remember, it is how you choose to handle the situations given to you that will define your true character. Who do you want to be? Are you someone who spares others feelings by leading them on with lies? Or are you one to spares someone’s feelings with the truth?
Keep on keeping on.