Sunday, February 26, 2006

A State of Mind

Is love a state of mind? I have always questioned how it is that we come to know that we love someone. Is it out of obligation, routine, or is is actually something larger than we could ever understand and we just succumb to this gripping idea of LOVE and loving someone else and even letting them love us in return?
Love was never a word that was often spoken in my household growing up, but it was at the same time, something that was always felt. I don't ever recall my mother or father expressing the actual world "love" to me until after I had already moved out of the house at age 17 and started college; even then, I do believe that I said it first. I could tell that the word coming out of my mouth was shocking and maybe a little uncomfortable for my mother and father and very suprising to me. I never realized that saying the word would be so trivial and tremendous all at one moment. One moment that I think has defined me ever since.
To this day, I have a very difficult time expressing the words vocally towards people I "care" about. I feel overhwelming discomfort and anxiety at the thought of knowing that I will need to reciprocate such expressive vocabulary. I have always had friends that felt it was normal and a part of everyday life to say "I love you" whether they are getting off the telephone, saying goodbye after lunch, or even writing it in an e-mail...all just to say "I love you." I believe I have said it more to friends in habit of reciprocation than I have said it to my own parents in my lifetime out of genuine gratefullness. But, I know with them, that they know I do love them.
How can we expect people to always know that we do love them? How do we know it is the right time and right person to express such a small yet incredibly powerful word? I have heard over and over again that "you just know." So, I am teaching and encouraging myself to trust in my own instincts in the matters of my feelings, even though I am probably the worst at expressing what I know is filling my heart. I have so much love inside of me to give out to all those that I know love me, but I hope my actions filled with love are enough until I figure out how to say "love" without someone saying it to me first.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Let Nature Take Its Course

Nature definately took its course and made my tiny getaway a big success. We had no idea that it was going to snow this past weekend and we were so pleased that it had. The ambiance of this cabin permeates you as soon as you pull in the dirt road entrance. The imagination is proven true to all of its anticipation as soon as we open the door and step into a cozy warm country home with its cinnamon and spice air. A definate success, a perfect little overnight or weekend retreat, and a place to feel like you are home away from home. The inability to use our cell phones, the cabinets and refrigerator stocked for our taste buds, and a crackling fireplace to accompany you as you read a book from the wonderful collection supplied in their bookcase. A strong recommendation from me anytime and I know I will return soon.

Friday, February 17, 2006

A little R&R at a little B&B

Oh, I am so excited about tonight! I have reserved a little log cabin north of Luther for the night. It is a 3 story log cabin, out in the sticks, with horses roaming the property, and a wrap around porch with little rocking chairs. It is through the Horseshoe Inn in Guthrie and I think it is going to be wonderful. I think the temperature will be getting down into the teens tonight, so the rock fireplace is going to be so nice to sit in front of. Another thing that makes this little love nest so nice is that the host of the B&B will come out the following morning and serve brunch. She also leaves food and snacks at the cabin for the evening. I will definately let you know how it all really is and get some pics.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Grey's Anatomy

I love Grey's Anatomy. I love it more than Desperate Housewives. The episode tonight was especially gripping with the bomb in the cavity, Bailey refusing to give birth because her husband is being operated on by McDreamy, the chief having an anxiety attack, and Meredith possibly dying!!!!! wheewwww. That is a lot. Oh, and the two sex kittens in the linen closet...can't forget about that. I really wish McDreamy would tell Miranda he loves her and leave his cheating wife!!!!!!! Arggggghhhhhhhh. And how dare she yell at George. George is so sweet and innocent. I can't wait for next week!!

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Adopt a dog

I have really been wanting to adopt a furry and loyal friend. I have been looking online at various dog rescue sites and local shelters. I have some favorite types of dogs but not sure how it would be to own one. I am also unsure of health problems that some of these shelter and adopted pets would bring along with them, but at the same time, some of these animals need just as much love as any human being. I went to Paws on Parade at PetSmart last weekend, and my heart just sank for all the lonely and homeless puppies and dogs. I almost feel guilty and selfish for wanting a full breed and fully healthy dog. These are some breeds of dog I am thinking of purchasing: Brussel Griffon, bulldog, rottweiller, golden retriever, maltese, yorkshire terrier. All are really cute when they are little and normally grow up to be pretty good looking dogs. Does anyone have any suggestions or tips on any of these dogs? I would love all the dog advice I can get. Here are just a couple of sites I have checked out. -Edmond Shelter Oklahoma Golden Retriever Rescue Hurricane Katrina Relief