Wednesday, August 27, 2008

The Firefighter Episodes...My First Memories

It was the end of my spring semester and summer was in the air. The air was sweet. The air was full of excitement. The air was full of strapping, tall, handsome, all-American, all muscle, all adorable, all wonderfully everything I always go for in a guy, hott-ness firefighter. But, like I said, he lived over an hour away in a different town fighting fires far far away from me.

The anticipation in waiting to see him, in waiting for him to drive back to town was excruciating. A good part of the anticipation was that I knew he would always drive back to town on his four days off and the best thing about firefighters' schedule is that they are normally three days on and four days off. I couldn't wait for his four days to start all over again. I always imagine him smiling and singing in his truck on his hour long drive. Oh, yes, he drove a truck. What else would you expect?

So, our days and nights together in getting to know one another were filled with driving around in his truck, relaxed dinners, cozy walks at the park, movies, and lots and lots of laughing. Primarily laughing. He'd laugh at me, I'd laugh at him, and we would laugh at just about anything and everything. His laugh and his smile are just mesmerizing. I can always tell the difference when he thinks something is somewhat amusing and when he really thinks it is hilarious and it makes him incredibly happy. His smile and the way it crinkles his eyes always gives away his true happiness.

I have three very fond memories of the hottness firefighter and I from our first summer. The firefighter and I enjoyed doing simple things together. One of our favorite simple ways to spend time with one another was to sit at Starbucks with our frothy beverages and play Chess. We loved playing Chess against one another. I think it was an excuse to sit across from each other with little distance between us for long periods of time.

My second memory is very far from Starbucks and Chess. We were driving around in his truck and he was taking me somewhere that was supposed to be a surprise. We were out in the country a little north of our town and I had never been in the area. There were just fields and fields and very little sign of civilization...but it was so beautiful. The sun was beginning to set and the Oklahoma Summer Sunset in the country is absolutely breathtaking. We pulled off the dirt road and started driving into a field...eventually there was absolutely no road and we were just driving through grass.

At that point, I had no idea what the surprise could have been. Then, out of no where I start to see a body of water and realize there is large pond ahead. He parks his truck facing west, facing the pond, facing the sunset. What on earth is he doing? Instantly, I think...and say, "Oh, my gosh! Are we trespassing on someone's property???" "Of course not," he coolly and laughingly tells me. "This is my family's land." Well, of course it is, I think to myself. Of course your perfect existance has property like this in your family. Romantic private pond and all.

He continues to tell me how he remembered I had mentioned a while back that I had never shot a gun before and how I always wanted to try. I know. Random. So, we get out of the truck. He tells me that he thought this spot was the perfect spot to show me how to shoot a gun. Apparently he grew up doing these silly boy silly country things. Silly city girl me. I know this may not be the romantic twist you may have been waiting for, but at the moment, and to this day, it was one of the most sincerest gestures and memories I have in my heart. He stood behind me and showed me how to hold the gun. He towered over me and his muscle arms wrapped around me to hold the gun for me as I played the damsel in distress role...and I felt incredibly safe. I felt an incredible amount of emtions. I learned to shoot a gun that night for the first time. And I learned I was absolutely hopeless when it came to this hottness firefighter. And this was only the beginning.

My last memory of our first summer together was our overnight camping trip...

To be continued...

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Can I Do It?

My mind has been in a million places this past week and as I lay awake at night stressing over whether or not I completed all my daily tasks and whether or night I completed them sufficiently, I start doubting myself and wondering, "Can I do it?"

My migraine on Saturday left me couch-ridden in the dark cave of my home and made me wonder if I have just put too much on my plate for me to handle right now? Sigh.

A full time job, a part-time job when I get home every evening from my full time job, and a class in pursuit of my masters degree...I am feeling a little overwhelmed. Primarily due to the graduate class. My class started last week and school is one of the few places that I feel the most insecure. I have never been as intellectual as everyone else and I have always felt that I had to work harder to think and to produce a coherent thought. My class is incredibly intimidating and I feel so inferior to the other classmates. The only thing keeping me going right now is that I already paid for the class and I will not waste my money.

My first paper is due on Sept. 3 and I have not written a paper in a few years...let alone a graduate quality paper. Why do I do these things to myself? Do I live for the stress and the deadlines? Or is my life really not that interesting that I have to force myself to think I enjoy writing papers in relation to Rhetoric...*** that is the class I am taking and supposedly "love", English Composition and Rhetoric...oh dear.

Plus, this new single life has gotten me all kinds of boy crazy. I think my running total of crushes right now is approximately 5 guys...I say approximately because the number changes daily. I wear myself out.

I need inspiration. Oh, here he is:

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

More "Twilight"

So, I did go back to the B&N the day of my previous post, but I got "New Moon" (the second book of the series) only...they did not have "Eclipse" (the third book of the series.) The reading obsession of vampires continued. I finishd "New Moon" late Monday night/early Tuesday morning around 2 am...if I didn't have to work on Monday, obviously I would have finished the book sooner. But life still does exists outside of this vampire love series...supposedly.

I forced myself to wait until the next weekend before I would head back out to B&N to buy "Eclipse" and "Breaking Dawn" was SO difficult! I thought I was the only crazy non-teen reading and obsessing about this vamipre series...I was and still am so wrong.

I had dinner and drinks with friends/co-workers last Wednesday evening after work. Someone in the group that I did not know very well brought up "Twilight"...something along the lines of "Has anyone heard of this new book series about vampires?" DING! I automatically perk up. Why, yes, yes I have...and I have absolutely no life now because of it and I swear up and down that there is the perfect Edward-like vampire out there just for me. Sigh. I didn't really say that out loud, but I was pathetically thinking this over and over in my head. Anyway, so he continues on about how his boss loves this book and stayed up all night reading to finish it. Whew. I am not the only one. So the group starts asking questions and discussing this book and of course I am so giddy inside.

Later in the evening, as the conversation has switched from vampire love to normal adult content, another co-worker/friend shows up and pops a squat next to me. Instantly, she asks me if I like to read. Ding. Why, yes, yes, I do. She asks me if I have ever heard of "Twilight"? Ding. Why, yes, yes, I have...and I have absolutely no life now because of it and I swear up and down that there is the perfect Edward-like vampire out there just for me. Sigh. Again, I didn't actually say that, but I was thinkiing it over and over in my head. My friend is so ecstatic that someone else her age loves the book so much and we start to talk about the characters and the book and how it is so strange how much the story engulfs you when you are reading.

I slowly discovered that there are so many adults reading this vampire love story and it is not just me. Women at work that are grandmothers are absolutely in love with this book series also. So many different people that I would not have expected to be reading and loving anything to do with vampires, are absolutely in love with Edward...the main vampire love interest.

So, this past Friday, I could not get out of work fast enough. I darted over to B&N and bought the final two books of the series, "Eclipse" and "Breaking Dawn." My Friday evening was all about "Eclipse"...and of course the wonderful speciman of a man that is Michael Phelps in a speedo. I had to force myself to go to sleep and only agreed with myself since I knew I had all weekend to get in my fair share of Edward and Bella.

Saturday. I don't know what happened to Saturday. Oh, yeah. I read. I woke up around 8:00am and instantly picked up the book. Still laying in my bed in my pj's, I realize it is almost 2:00 pm. OH MY GOSH! Oh well, I didn't have anything to do anyway besides clean, do laundry, go to the grocery store, acknowledge my dog's existence, acknowledge a world outside of my house. So, I move on to "Breaking Dawn" the final book in the series. This one is daunting. Almost 800 pages. My evening came and went. Midnight came and went. 4:00 am and I had to force myself go to sleep.

Sunday, I forced myself to get out of the house. I had lunch with friends, and of course the conversation was consummed with this book series. Afterward, I came home and conintued on with my vampire love saga. I needed to just get it over with at this point. I couldn't let this obsession continue on into another week. I finished the final words around 2:00 am. Sigh. All over. In one week, I read over 2000 pages of this vampire series and now it is all over.

I have not talked to one person who does not love this vampre love story. If you have not heard of it, check it out. The movie release date has been moved up to November 21, 2008.

Now, I have to get back to life and stop wishing and hoping that I could fall in love with a vampire like Edward.

Plus, I had a date last night. I'll tell you about that later.

Keep on keepin on.

Sunday, August 10, 2008


The new popular book series by author Stephanie Meyer is all a buzz. And I had no idea until yesterday.

I must have been living in my own little bubble for quite some time because I had never heard of this new Best Selling series. I had a coupon to the local Barnes-N-Noble, and yes, of course I have a membership, so I was on the prowl yesterday for a new book to read. My friend, Jenny-poo, and I had about an hour to kill before our very girly, newly released movie was scheduled to start (I will talk about that separately...can you guess what it was we saw?), so we decided to go the B-n-N to find myself a new book and so I could use my coupon before it expired. ****I hate wasting a perfectly beautiful and valid B-n-N coupon because I feel like it is something I really earned...don't hate me because I am so frugal and strange. Anyway, so I kept telling Jenny-poo that I wanted something really good. Hmmm. That really narrows it down, huh?. I walked around completely lost, looking from cute book cover to cute book cover to some "who thought that was good idea?" book cover...and was totally bored and un-inspired. I even skulked around the "thought provoking" go. Nothing.

I had already perused the "Best Seller" wall because that is what I always do first. I can't break my habits even when in public, I don't think I have ever not skipped on over to the "Best Seller" wall or table or isle when first entering a book store...I have never really been disappointed, so I stick with what works. So, my first try on the "Best Seller" wall was more of an "" rather than an "..awww,oooooh, I want this one." Then, poor Jenny-poo was trying to be so helpful by trying to pry out of me what kind of book I was looking for when I had absolutely no inclination of what I was looking for....seems to be a motif in my life...but I digress. So, finally we head back on over to the once already perused "Best Selling" wall and I sigh inside and probably outside thinking this is going to be an absolutely unsuccessful book trip and I will be totally depressed until the girly movie we are about to see in 30 min actually begins.

I had noticed two shelves of black books on our first glance at the "Best Seller" wall, picked one up and put it back to move on to the next shelves. On the two shelves, although each book had the similar black overall look, the pictures and titles were different. On our second trip, after taking a second look at the black books with pale white arms and hands holding a bright red apple, it dawned on me....or more like Jenny-poo let me in on the huge secret....that the black books were a series. OHHHHH. ****Sometimes I really wonder how I got through college because I can really be so dense sometimes. Then, after reading the back cover, yet again, it dawned on me the book was about vampires. Again, back to the dense thing, the pale obviously vampire-ish arms and hands didn't quite register in my head. Neither did the combination of the pale vampire-ish arms and hands with the title, "Twilight." DUH. And I was obviously oblivious to the magnitude of the book series' greatness....because uhhhhh, it was already a "Best Selling" series that I had never heard about yet. I am so behind the times.

After lack of anything else that really triggered any interest, the vampire arms won my heart. You know what is super sad? I almost talked myself out of buying the first book because I thought it was too long. The thought of trying to read 500 pages was absolutely not appealing to me. I like to read multiple books that are shorter in lengh, not one 500 page monstrosity. But, I like a challenge...sometimes, and walked out of the B-n-N with "Twilight" by Stephanie Meyer.

After I got home from my girly movie watching ways, I walked in my house and layed the B-n-N bag with its 500 page dead weight novel on my dining table. I instantly blocked the thought of trying to submerge myself into a 500 page novel and anticipated I would never finish it. It had been years since a book over 250 pages has not bored me enough at some point that I had to stop and put off trying to push myself to finish it at a later time...yet I love to read. Yes, I am complicated.

A few hours later, while relaxing on the couch and watching the mens gymnastics olympics and absolutely anticipating seeing the beautiful speciman that is Michael Phelps in a speedo, I remember the 500 page monstrosity laying patiently on my dining table. Sigh. Well, the beautiful speciman that is Michael Phelps in a speedo isn't schedule to grace my t.v. screen for a few hours. Maybe I can kick back some chapters of this vampire mystery before the highlight of my night that is Michael Phelps in a speedo...yes, I know, I need to get out. Leave me alone.

OH, MY, GOOLY GOOLY, HEAVEN TO BETSY, GOSH! Where did my Saturday night go??? To a 500 page vampire story, that is where. I started the amazing book that is "Twilight" around 5:00 pm last night and I finished it around 7:00 am this morning only stopping throughout the night for tinkle breaks...and the beautiful speciman that is Michael Phelps in a speedo. I could not put the book away. I could not put the story out of my mind. I could not get the image of the characters out of my head. I could not stop wanting to know what happened next. I could not not be bored. There was no boredom. I HAD to keep going. I needed to get to the end. I got to the end, early this morning. No sleep, no dinner, it was almost my normal breakfast time, and I wanted to know more! I wanted to still know what happens to Bella and Edward! Oh, thank goodness, there is a sneak peak into the sequel, "New Moon"! Done. NOOOO. I need to know more! Sigh. I force myself to go to sleep and wake up around 11:30 am still reeling in my head this magnificent tale I have just been told. Uggh. Great. Now I have to go back to B-n-N today and get the rest of the books.

So, seriously. "Twilight" is amazing. The character development is phenomenal. The setting details and the action are so vivid. The constant suspense is, well, constant. Meyer has brought to the table an incredible love story that even the most non-vampire fan will definitely be intrigued and appreciate. Plus, "Twilight" is her first book, can you believe that? Check out her website. ...And, new to me and probably not to you, there is a movie being made that is schedule to be released in December. Here is a trailer. I don't think the move trailer really highlights the love story well at all. There definitely needs to be a new trailer for this movie. I hope the movie lives up to the book. Let us cross our fingers.

So, the book series consists so far of four published books: "Twilight", "New Moon", "Eclipse", and "Breaking Dawn". "Breaking Dawn" was recently released around the first week of August, I am not sure about the exact date. On its first day, it sold around 1.3 billion copies! Gosh. What hole have I been living under? Anyway, in actuality, I probably won't run back out to B-n-N today to get the last three, but I might. I need to not engulf my entire weekend on this series. So, I will try to hold off until next weekend and probably take a nap this afternoon instead.

Happy vampire reading.

Keep on Keepin on.

Sunday, August 03, 2008

The Firefighter Episodes

About five years ago, when I was a wee little 21 year old bank teller, I met the firefighter. Working at this small town bank, I met many local patrons with money, without money, pretending to have money, or just trying to save money. I met many that just wanted a nice face to talk to as well. Every now and then, I will bump into past customers and they will remember me and want to catch up…it is quite a nice and gratifying feeling.

Bank Tellers often find that there are certain customers that will only want to be helped by them, if possible. There were times when certain customers would wait on my window to become available even if other tellers were available; and same for other tellers, there were times when I was available to help and customers would want to wait on someone else to become available. Strange but understandable, it’s their money.

I first met the firefighter’s dad. He is cooky, personable, nice, and desperate to find his son a girlfriend. As he did with other tellers, he persisted that I should go out with son…whom I had never met or seen. First thought, how fugly or strange or nerdy is his son that he has to persistently beg all the tellers to go out with him? Absolutely not, I thought. So the persistent pestering to go out with his son went on for some time as with the other tellers.

One day, I was helping this strapping, tall, handsome, all-American, all muscle, all adorable, all wonderfully everything I always go for in a guy and was absolutely flirting and drooling all at the same time. Unfortunately, he seemed and acted a little young and unable to maturely handle a conversation with a girl. Oh, well, I can still flirt. You know who the hott-ness was???? It was cooky, personable, nice, and desperate to find his son a girlfriend customer’s son! Oh, I was just smitten after I discovered this little fun fact…I am so IN! His dad loves me! Then I found out he was a firefighter. SCORE!

Hott-ness firefighter lived an 1 ½ away and fights fires for a different town. DAMN!

So, I give up on my hopes and dreams of Hott-ness firefighter and go on with my bank telling ways. Hott-ness firefighter would come in to do some banking every once in awhile an we would banter back and forth. On his days off, he would travel down to town to stay with his family….they are very close. But, I never seriously thought or pursued hott-ness firefighter.

I was still in college at the time, and a girlfriend and I would sometimes go to the local Barnes-n-Noble to pretend to study. On one of our pretending to study trips to the B-n-N, we decided to find a table in the back corner near the photography books so that I could study pretty pictures rather than anything English related. As I am daydreaming and pretending to read, I feel this tall presence walking toward me. I look up and who do I see, but strapping, tall, handsome, all-American, all muscle, all adorable, all wonderfully everything I always go for in a guy, hott-ness firefighter. What is he doing in a Barnes-n-Noble? No way. He likes to read? And he has a Starbucks frothy beverage in hand. So, hott-ness firefighter likes to read and drink coffee?? Is he for real? Can he be any more perfect?

He approaches and we start to banter back and forth. Apparently, he loves B-n-N and goes there quite frequently….(my jaw is dropping and drooling all over my books at this point). He proceeds to tell me that we should “hang out” sometime and then asks for my number! Oh, heck yes, you can have my digits, you beautiful piece of speciman man that you are! And he obviously gives me his number. *****Note to self and other young loverly ladies: If a hott-nees type man wants your number, he is into you. BUT, if he offers up his number to you, then he is soooooooo into you and you got this one in the bag.

And thus began our on and off relationship/friendship/drama without being drama that still continues to this day.
To be continued……