Dear Pope

Dear Pope,

What up, your Royal Papacy? I hope your flight to the U.S. was absolutely wonderful and holy. I am writing you this letter because I want to apologize for the fact that I am the worst Catholic in the world, yet I still strongly claim to be Catholic since I was raised Catholic and all the other churches I have tried to convert to and “try out” have totally wierded me out. That is a story in itself.

I felt it was necessary to write you today because I believe in signs. The Catholic religion has been a lingering and random motif in my life the last few days. How, you are probably wondering? Well, first, there is always my mother who yells at me for not going to church…even though I am an adult. She seriously expects me to drive 30 minutes to another town so that she can have a church going partner to kneel and pray with. Can you believe that? There is a wonderful Catholic Church located right around the corner from where I live…but it is always really packed with loyal churchgoers like yourself. My agoraphobia in combination with the holding hands thing gets in the way with that…I am sure you understand. But I drive by the church quite frequently and normally think of Christ and God and how they will always love me and I will always love them.

Catholicism has also been a motif in my life lately for a few other small reasons. For instance, the movie “The Da Vinci Code” was on the other day…and I watched it. I do love that Mary Magdalene regardless of the rumors. There also was the prayer for patience and the ability to possess forgiveness I made the other day when Clint didn’t do what I asked him to do. Can we work on him? We can talk about him later.

And then there is my love for bread and wine. Who would have thought such a religious act of devotion could transform into a daily necessity for me? I know. God thought of it. You’re so funny and wise. Rather than once a week, the presence of the body and blood of you know who is quite the regular pastime in our household. You should stop by some time!

So, back to your visit. How is G. Bush? He hasn’t said anything dumb yet has he? I know, I know. Idiocrosy just falls out of his mouth. Sure, he is probably a super nice man, but he thinks he is so funny when he is sooooo not…kind of like my father. Clint thinks my father is awesome and funny….I told you we need to work on him.

Anyway, I just wanted to say hi and make sure you know that I am still a Catholic…just a modern day do-it-my way kind of version. I am still a good person with good morals, good ethics, and understanding. I am super honest…which some people in today’s world don’t really appreciate. I know, I need to work on my gossiping. But, for the most part, I just live my day-to-day life with a cross around my neck, truth and honesty in my words and actions, and a great sense of humor.

So, sorry I am the worst Catholic in the world, but I am not perfect. I pray that you have a great and safe visit! You are always welcome in my home if you ever want some bread and wine!

Love,
Deb