Planning Blues

So I've started to forge full speed ahead on my wedding planning and have quickly come to an exhausting-totally defeated-don't want to deal with it anymore...mini mental hault.

First of all - I've never really had a "dream wedding" mindset.  So, I knew this whole figuring out what I want thing would be very difficult for me.  I mentally started to prepare myself months ago and I'm still dumbfounded with myself.  I warned Sparky that I would need at least a year to just figure out what kind of wedding I'd want... let alone plan a wedding.

So, with many incredibly useful wedding blogs and sites literally at my finger tips, I feel like I've developed my style in my head.  I chose a dress long ago that I felt would be absolutely perfect and still to this day, even after considering many others, I return to this one dress.  So, at least I am consistant on that one thing...so far.

I'm a nervous wreck when it comes to being the center of attention or speaking in front of even one other person.  So, obviously, the thought of a big wedding ABSOLUTELY wigs me out entirely.  My palms and forehead begin to sweat just thinking about walking down an aisle with hundreds of eyes staring at me.  Totally not for me. 

I'm a frugal freak.  That is a pretty big darn element in this whole process.  Sparky and I are trying desperately to stay under a particular budget; and although I'm creating this stress ball for myself, our budget is one thing I really want to be successful in keeping.  I'd much rather spend our extra money on our honeymoon!  ...which btw, I think we're doing a honeymoon registry rather than a traditional registry. 

I've decided I need more support, advice, and ideas.  I'd like to flirt with the idea that many of you may know me A LOT better than I know myself, and with me jumping on the wedding band wagon so very late, I'm sure there is a wealth of wedding planning exprience out there that I can utilize.  So feel free to share your enthusiam and ideas everytime I post about all this wedding mumbo jumbo.

But for now, I thought I might share with you my wedding planning start-up.  I know some of you will totally get a kick out of this and admittingly relate to my planning/organizational woes.  So, what was the first thing I JUST HAD to create for myself before I moved full speed ahead??

come on...you know...

A wedding planning BINDER!!!!! yay!!!

So far, creating the actual binder has been my favorite part. 

The process of actually finding narrowing down stuff to put in it has been a completely different story...and causing me to eat a lot of chocolate. 

Binder Beginnings!

Outside of my binder.  I haven't had time to make an official cover...yet.  So for now, an 8x10 photo of Ruby's backside brings me happiness...and Sparky slipped in a little piece of his two cents in there as well.  awwwww....

Inside of my binder.  Open up this gold mine to find the most important thing...our budget sheet.  woot woot! 

This is the "Gown" tab.  Yes.  I have very specific typed up tabs that coincide completely and in order with the budget sheet.  I probably shouldn't be showing you this tab as it reveals my most consistant dress choice...but I just don't get all ba-jiggidy about that stuff.  I have a print out of the dress I love because my moither is actually going to make it for me.  So, obviously, I have material and specifics underlined as well as the local fabric store information.

What the heck is this you ask?  This is located under the "Reception" tab.  This is a very detailed and measured CAD drawing of our backyard.  Oh, yeah, baby.  Tables, chairs, yard dimensions, decks, pergolas, tree, house.  yup.  It's all there.  So, as you've figured out by now, we are seriously considering having this small shin-dig right in our own backyard.  More power to us right?  We must be crazy.

I have few other tabs with a few little things here and there...photographer options, rental places, guest list (actually, our guest list is a working excel sheet that automatically adds my numbers for me), food menu..blah blah blah blah and...

More details...and I'm sure changes...to come!

Keep on Keepin on.