Friday, July 18, 2008

My Piddly Little Break-up

One thing I have always believed and have always told myself to get through tough times is this: "Bad things happen to good people, it is how one handles what they have been given that will define them." -Me

I am repeating this phrase over and over in my head today and have been since this past Tuesday.

Sadly, my live-in boyfriend and I have broken up after a year and a half. I keep telling myself it is not that bad...and it isn't. There are far more worse things in life and in the world than my piddly little break-up. But, it still isn't completely easy either.

I am lucky, though. In actuality, we were not together for a very long time. I keep thinking about people who get divorced after 30 years of marraige...I cannot imagine what it would be like to have to divide 30 years of life. My situation is a cinch in comparison.

I hate to bad-mouth about people, but sometimes it is difficult when talking to friends to not say bad things about my ex-person. But, I know it is just because I am actually pretty angry about the situation right now and I will get over it. I won't bad-mouth here...or at least not right now.

I have been through a few stages already. First, there was the "I-Don't-Care" stage...that didn't last long. Then there was the "I need to feel sorry about myself" stage...it comes and goes but mostly goes. Third, there is the "I have never been so angry in my life" stage...this one lingers the most. I briefly experienced the "I have wasted so much of my time" stage...I think that one will pop up every so often and aid the "I have never been so agry in my life" stage.

But, for the most part, I come back to reality and out of my stage lives and remember that I am a strong 5ft young woman and it is very difficult to bring me down. I have never been able to let anyone bring me down and I won't let it start now. I was strong before I met him and I will continue to be strong for the rest of my life. Sure, I won't be chipper every second of everyday, but I know that I am able to deal with life and what it throws at me.

The part that makes the "I need to feel sorry for myself" stage re-surface every so often, is that my 26th birthday is next Thursday. I had planned on having a small simple birthday celebration with my now ex-person. I didn't even really want a big celebration. Now, the plans are different. It will definitely be bittersweet and strange, but I have great friends that will ensure that I am not alone. I find this proof to myself that not everything happens exactly how you plan it, but it doesn't mean that it is not as great or wonderful...and life most definitely goes on.

Keep on keepin on.

5 comments:

jmcqueen82 said...

very little to say that has not already been said.

You are spectacular. Remember that!
Love you friend!

j

jmcqueen82 said...

okay I had to share this too. The captha or whatever it is called (the little letter code you have to type in to publish a comment) said mrrip

Mr. RIP??? ha! that's pretty good.

kathy said...

Deb,

Just remember you all of your family and we are here if you need us.

Love you.

K

C said...

Wow! I totally wasn't expecting this post! You have such a great attitude about this, Deb. I'm positive you will get through this just fine. If you two are truly meant for each other, then things will work out somehow. If not, then at least you two have learned some valuable lessons about life and love.

Years before I met my husband, I was with someone for five years. We were even engaged at one point. We lived together for four of those five years. In my gut, I knew we weren't right for each other, but in my heart, I sooo desperately wanted things to work out. Now that I think of it, it is a good thing we finally did cut the ties. We both would have been miserable because things really weren't meant to be. I also would never have met my husband (after two years of me just wanting to be single and on my own). We wouldn't have gotten married and we wouldn't be expecting our first baby this winter.

Thinking of you and sending you lots of hugs! xoxo

BlondeLittleShit said...

You're right, it doesn't suck any less just because you know it's the right thing for you to do for yourself. I'm glad you're able to allow yourself to grieve and go through all the emotions. You're better than most for just doing that. You've got the right attitude and I know just as you do that you'll pull through. I'm here if you need me, just say the word...I've got a bottle of wine and a copy of Under the Tuscan Sun on stand by.