My mind has been in a million places this past week and as I lay awake at night stressing over whether or not I completed all my daily tasks and whether or night I completed them sufficiently, I start doubting myself and wondering, "Can I do it?"
My migraine on Saturday left me couch-ridden in the dark cave of my home and made me wonder if I have just put too much on my plate for me to handle right now? Sigh.
A full time job, a part-time job when I get home every evening from my full time job, and a class in pursuit of my masters degree...I am feeling a little overwhelmed. Primarily due to the graduate class. My class started last week and school is one of the few places that I feel the most insecure. I have never been as intellectual as everyone else and I have always felt that I had to work harder to think and to produce a coherent thought. My class is incredibly intimidating and I feel so inferior to the other classmates. The only thing keeping me going right now is that I already paid for the class and I will not waste my money.
My first paper is due on Sept. 3 and I have not written a paper in a few years...let alone a graduate quality paper. Why do I do these things to myself? Do I live for the stress and the deadlines? Or is my life really not that interesting that I have to force myself to think I enjoy writing papers in relation to Rhetoric...*** that is the class I am taking and supposedly "love", English Composition and Rhetoric...oh dear.
Plus, this new single life has gotten me all kinds of boy crazy. I think my running total of crushes right now is approximately 5 guys...I say approximately because the number changes daily. I wear myself out.
I need inspiration. Oh, here he is: