Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Can I Do It?

My mind has been in a million places this past week and as I lay awake at night stressing over whether or not I completed all my daily tasks and whether or night I completed them sufficiently, I start doubting myself and wondering, "Can I do it?"

My migraine on Saturday left me couch-ridden in the dark cave of my home and made me wonder if I have just put too much on my plate for me to handle right now? Sigh.

A full time job, a part-time job when I get home every evening from my full time job, and a class in pursuit of my masters degree...I am feeling a little overwhelmed. Primarily due to the graduate class. My class started last week and school is one of the few places that I feel the most insecure. I have never been as intellectual as everyone else and I have always felt that I had to work harder to think and to produce a coherent thought. My class is incredibly intimidating and I feel so inferior to the other classmates. The only thing keeping me going right now is that I already paid for the class and I will not waste my money.

My first paper is due on Sept. 3 and I have not written a paper in a few years...let alone a graduate quality paper. Why do I do these things to myself? Do I live for the stress and the deadlines? Or is my life really not that interesting that I have to force myself to think I enjoy writing papers in relation to Rhetoric...*** that is the class I am taking and supposedly "love", English Composition and Rhetoric...oh dear.

Plus, this new single life has gotten me all kinds of boy crazy. I think my running total of crushes right now is approximately 5 guys...I say approximately because the number changes daily. I wear myself out.

I need inspiration. Oh, here he is:

4 comments:

jmcqueen82 said...

the good thing is it is only a short intersession course right? so, you will only be torturing yourself for a *little* while.

oh, and YES...!!! You can do it!!

Deb said...

Thanks for the engouragement. and yes, it is only an intersession course...i just have to make it to oct. 8.

Tina Dremel said...

I hear you when it comes to school. But, just remember I would be right there with you if I could. I miss going.
Love your inspiration by the way! ;)

C said...

Wow, Deb! You amaze me! How do you do it all??

You're a super organized person and I'm sure you'll be fine with the juggling act :) Remember, it's only temporary!

As for the boy crazy crushes...I'm with you! No one told me that pregnant women get crazy, hot, sexy dreams (okay, at least this pregnant lady does!! LOL!). Brad Pitt and Patrick Dempsey...Mmmmmmmm....