Decisions

Life is all about choices...right?  And with all those life choices we are obligated to decisions.  Every day we can make decisions from the simplest or mundane forms to the life altering and life changing.  We are most often exposed to the simple.  The life changing decisions can define who we are or who we want to be in this world; they help build the foundation of our character.  I struggle with decisions every day because I am fearful of their impact on my life and others.

The year of 2012 has forced me into big decisions.  I am grateful for the opportunity and freedom to experience the choices in front of me, but I have never been so afraid in all my life of the impact of my decisions.  A huge part of this fear is because my decisions affect a whole other human being now that I am married (and four little dogs).  The upside is that Sparky is so supportive of whatever path I choose...assuming that I eventually come to peace with a decision.

I am currently unemployed.  Wow.  Typing those four words makes it so real.  I did make the decision to leave my most recent place of employment without a real plan.  This is the first time I've ever stepped out on my own without a solid plan.  I am a planner.  I am a controller.  I make sure I know what happens next and at least five steps afterward.  It is my nature and always has been.  Fear consumes me every millisecond of ever moment I breathe.  But, more importantly, I know my value.  Self worth will always overcome fear; that is what I repeat to myself.

I may not have solid plans, but I have ideas.  I am excited to share my ideas with the world, mold my ideas into plans, and make my ideas my reality.

Keep on Keepin on.